Life is like a puzzle.
We, as parents, are gifted with the duty to put all the pieces of our children’s lives together and make them fit seamlessly into a perfect picture.
Seems so simple.
Have you ever looked at those professional photographs of families taken outside in a garden, usually taken in the summer time?

Many people had approached me when they first heard the news that we were blessed with a child with Down syndrome. “You know…”, they would say, avoiding eye contact with me, “I hope you’re making the right decision… a child with Down syndrome can really ruin a family.”

Now, looking at my beautiful child, Shea, all I can do is nod with a bright smile and effusive glow. Indeed, it can change a family… and how!

As defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary, sibling rivalry is the “competition between brothers and sisters”. Upon hearing this phrase, we think of standard conflict between siblings that they experience while growing up. Who can run faster, who drew the best picture, who gets the best grades in school etc. The term sibling rivalry, when involving a sibling with special needs, is entirely different.

We have the great zechus in our yeshiva to accept boys with all types of issues.  We have a normal, mainstream yeshiva.  B’H, we have boys who become Roshei Yeshiva, doctors, lawyers, accountants, and of course, huge talmidei chachomim.

But we have something else, too. Our students have learned how to live with all kinds of kids.  People in our yeshiva believe that we are doing a tremendous chesed by helping all types of boys.  Correct, absolutely correct!  But the greatest chesed is to our own talmidim!  They learn how to be sensitive to other people.  A number of our talmidim now live in adult homes.  Their classmates from 20 years ago, many married with families, still stay in close contact and even visit them regularly.  So, tell me, who is the chesed for?

Our 2 Bais Medrash boys were learning home during lockdown and their sessions were peppered with lebediga Torah arguments.

When Yom Tov arrived, 12-year-old Elisheva, who has Down syndrome, made seating arrangements for the Yom Tov meals and placed her two brothers at the 2 opposite ends of the table ‘because they argue and bother each other too much’!

Thank you so much for a most beautiful winter edition, Issue #27. I really enjoyed reading it. Each issue outdoes the previous one.

I especially enjoyed “On the Double…” It made me pause and appreciate all the gifts our daughter, Rivky, was b’H blessed with; no cardiac issues, hospitalizations, trauma, etc. May Hashem continue to bentch Yossi and Levi “on the double”!

To My Most Beloved Sister Rikki,

As Corona began to storm,
It did transform,
The definition of the norm,
But worry I did not.

There is something about Friday night that makes it a beautiful night. In addition, it is the only day of the week that I get to visit my neighbors across the courtyard that separates the two rows of houses in our development. And every week, without fail, I get to witness the special sight of Moishey Sander coming home from shul. He stops at the door, puts his hand gently on the mezuzah and gives it a loving kiss. This thirty-second weekly encounter strikes a chord deep inside of me every week anew. When I observe his tenderness to that which is real, it gets me to ponder what actually matters.

The Lucky Moms text chat was created by and for mothers of children with Down syndrome, as a means to connect.  It has been providing support, resources, information, inspiration and of course a touch of humor to each member’s day.  The Lucky Moms group is helping many of us survive these tumultuous times.  Following are excerpts of conversations from this time period.

Some of you may have heard about my twin daughters, Nechama and Batya Kuessous, both born with Down syndrome. They were actually featured in Issue #9 of Down Syndrome Amongst Us, many years ago. They are currently 24 years old.

When the coronavirus hit, I was a little worried about how it would affect them. They are generally very social and thrive on friendship and connection to other people. Every day they travel to Lakewood to The Special Children’s Center where they attend a job training program. They normally arrive home at 6:15 pm. They eat supper and then their phone is usually ringing off the hook with acquaintances offering to pick them up for slurpies, a shiur or even a short drive around town.