A sleepless night, my eyes are sore,
The day has come, the nights no more,
My bed is warm, I want to stay,
I cant come out to face the day.
The sky is grey, the clouds are low,
They match my mood, Im at zero,
My heart is heavy, filled with dread,
How I wish I could stay in bed.
But the children call and shout and nag,
And reluctantly myself I drag,
Out of bed and to the door
And so begins the day once more.
My hearts not in it, things dont flow,
My concentrations very low,
Im very uptight, Im very tense,
And when I talk, I dont make sense.
The kids go off to school and then,
I take a deep breath, count to ten,
I have a biscuit, and a drink,
Switch off my mind and just dont think.
I dont want to hear, I dont want to know,
But the tears, unbidden, begin to flow,
The pain of rejection is so hard to bear.
I feel alone, I have such fear.
Everyones behind me, I know they care,
But when I turn round, theres nobody there.
Its just Moishy and me, we apart from the rest,
I have to accept that this is for the best.
I take out my Siddur and start to pray,
Hashem- help me to get through the day,
Please give me strength and courage too,
I entrust my troubles and burdens to You.
I finish my prayer with a fervent plea,
To pass this test-please help me.
Im never alone, I know Youre nearby
I wipe my eyes and cease to cry.
The greyness ascends, my heart feels light,
I look around, theres peace and quiet,
With a spring in my step and my heart full of joy
Ill journey forward with my special boy.
This article first appeared in issue #8 of Down Syndrome Amongst Us