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Hey Dads!!! Some Thoughts on Men and Grief

By Ian John

Gentlemen, you are about to enter the pre-season of the big leagues. It is a period in one's life called, "Grief." Some of you have experienced it before, and for others, this is the first time. It is a part of life, and for some reason you were selected.

Don't ask me why; I don't have a clue! When a tragedy or crisis occurs in our lives, we feel as though we have totally lost control. Men have a hard time feeling out of control; I know I do. We were raised to fix things, make them right.

Dads, grief is normal and healthy. It either makes you bitter or   better. Grief is an emotion that allows us to empty out the deep feelings that must not be kept inside. Your choosing to endure this period in your life will make you a stronger and more mature man.

Things to remember:
You are now an exceptional father entering a higher level of manhood; take good care of yourself.

This article first appeared in issue 13 of DSAU

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Feedback and comments on this article

Avrohom Yisroel Silver said...

So I have a confession to make... I cried. It's been years since I've cried, after all, I'm 47 years old, a father of seven kids (bli ayin horo) and I have nothing to cry about.

Our special baby, our Chaya Devoira taught me how to cry. Not from grief, although that would have been OK too. I cried every time they stuck needles in her. I cried when I saw her hooked up to all those gruesome looking machines in the High Dependency Unit. I cried when I thought of what that life-saving operation actually entails.

She taught me to get in touch with my emotions, and you know what? I feel a better person for it. I can empathise with other people's tragedies more. I can feel a little bit of the pain of my fellow Yidden in eretz Yisroel when they are attacked. I can feel the pain when I see someone collecting for his sick child, or someone who needs to marry off his daughter.

Don't believe what they tell you, it's OK to cry :-)

18 January 2009 17:48